Jillian is 11 days old now, and we're starting to get into a routine. We're settling nicely into our mother-daughter roles. The transition has been both the hardest and the easiest things I've ever done: hard to have to change how I do every little thing, yet easy because of how natural and welcome the change seems to be. She's almost 2 weeks old already, and she's changed so much, both in looks and behavior. She's awake a lot more throughout the day. She's a great sleeper though, I'm one of the lucky ones. We usually go to sleep after our 11 feeding, and then wake up at 3, then at 7 for the day. Then we take a midmorning nap from around 9-11, and then we're up and alert for the rest of the day. We're just starting to be awake enough to do some tummy time. It's amazing to me how well she can lift her head! I had her sitting in her boppy pillow so it was kind of propping her up, and I'm not joking Jilly was trying to sit up. Smart little girl!
I've learned more in the past 11 days about myself and life in general than I realized I could in such a short time. Now, I'm sharing some of my favorite, sometimes funny, things that I've learned about mommyhood with all of you.
- Babies poop. A lot. I obviously knew already that babies would need to go #2, but I didn't realize how much! She is a poop factory! Maybe it's because she's still getting rid of some of the jaundice, but she poops with almost every diaper. And it smells. Whoever said breastfed babies don't have smelly poop is a liar!
- Learning to breastfeed was the hardest, most nervewracking experience of my life. Those first few days were brutal. She cried constantly, I was constantly trying to get her to eat, and a lot of the time she wouldn't even latch on. I cried more about breastfeeding before my milk came in than I've cried about almost anything. It's a helpless feeling as you're trying to get your baby to eat and they won't. But once my milk came in, this little girl turned into a piggy! Now, it's the best decision I could have made and I am so happy to do it for her.
- Guys still get to sleep 8 hours a night uninterrupted, and will still complain the next day about not getting a good night's rest. Seriously, I've just let this one go. I get up with her, change her, feed her, and get her back to sleep while he snores away. It doesn't bother me much, but it cracks me up when I hear him telling his friends the next day how tired he is from having that new baby in the house.
- Daddy can be the biggest and best help you could possibly ask for, especially when they love baby as much as Marshall love Jilly. He's always more than willing to hold and snuggle her when I need to do something and she's being fussy. He'll take her in for a nap, and lay there cuddling her for a while. He loves us both, and treats us both so wonderfully. He's helped me every step of the way wholeheartedly. I wish his parents could be here to see him be such an amazing dad. They would be so proud to see him. I know I am. ♥
- No matter how prepared you think you are to become a mom, when the moment is finally upon you, you realize a.) you don't know jack about being a mother, b.) you're expected to take care of this person yourself, with no one to do it for you, and c.) you are terrified to your core. My nurse said 70% of new moms have a breakdown at the hospital, and the other 30% have one at home. Mine was at the hospital, when I was being released. I'll be honest, I was terrified, having a panic attack, about how I was having trouble breastfeeding and now I had to take her home. Who was going to help me? Aaaahh! After arriving home, we adjusted pretty quickly. I guess I just needed to get all those fears out before moving forward.
- Swelling doesn't end when the pregnancy does. In fact, it can get much worse. All that water and extra blood has to go somewhere. For many, it disperses itself throughout various parts of the body. For me, it all went into my ankles and feet. I had tree trunk legs for almost a week before finally getting back to normal.
- Breastfeeding means a lot of work for the mommy, especially when your child is like mine and won't take a bottle of pumped milk for anything. All she wants is the boob! But it is so rewarding. I cannot imagine doing anything else. I need it just as much as she does now. Plus, it helps everything shrink back up quicker, and I am loving that!
- The stares from strangers doesn't end when the pregnancy does, either. Just instead of staring at you for being so big they're trying to figure out how you're even able to be upright, they're staring at your little baby. It's okay, but when they try to touch, then I bite. :)
- Explosvie farts. Enough said.
- Babies don't care if the diaper is off, or if you've just cleaned off a massive poop-plosion and they're all clean and shiny again. They'll poop on you and not even think twice. Or they'll pee, sending a river of ickies all over themselves, you, and the changing station.
- The sick kids at the pediatricians office waiting room are the most horrifying things ever. Seriously, every time we go in for a doctor's appointment and a snot covered 2 year old starts running over to us pointing at the baby and trying to touch her, I want to curl up into a protective ball around her and start hissing like a cat in a turf war.
- It can be frustrating when you're trying to get something accomplished and little baby is being a fuss and only wants to be held by you. But it's equal parts frustration and amazement, since it's also the coolest feeling ever to know that she needs you, and wants you, and loves you enough to be upset when you let her go. ♥
- Hearing your baby cry when you are unable to get to her (like when you're in the shower) or unable to get her to calm down is the most heartbreaking experience.
- Best, most warm and fuzzy inducing moments of my life: when she's laying on me with her chest against mine sleeping, and she snuggles her head right up under my chin.
- Nature really does make you forget. For the first week I would get nauseous just thinking about the possibility of going through pregnancy and labor again, and now I'm already starting to forget the horrors and think about labor with amazement. I'm trying to remind myself how much it sucked, but I just can't remember being 9 months pregnant, or how bad exactly it hurt to have her coming out of me. For an experience so painful, it's a wonder to me that I'm starting to forget about it!
- Her smile.
- The number one thing I've learned, though, is that no one could possibly have prepared me for how overwhelming and wonderful my love for her would be. Sometimes, I look at her in total amazement and get all teary eyed just because she's mine. We like to stare at each other. I feel pride, happiness, tenderness, love, and just about every positive emotion on the planet. I still can't believe she's mine.
I want her to stay this little forever. I'm cherishing every day and each moment, because she's changing so quickly. Some day she'll be a little girl instead of a baby, and I want to remember exactly what this feels like. I love being a mommy! This is exactly what I was meant to do with my life. I thank God every day for this little sweetheart he's brought into my life. By the way, as I'm writing this list I keep adding more and more things at the last minute that are amazing to me. It seems I can't stop thinking about things I love about being a mommy to Jillian. I'm cutting myself off now, before this turns into a book.
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