Dear baby Jillian,
Hi, little girl! I love you. You are such a big girl now in my belly. I'm not sure how you can still be comfortable in there. I can feel you try to stretch out sometimes, and it doesn't seem to be very successful for you! Poor little girl! Your long baby legs just have to stay all curled up, don't they?
We've had an interesting week and a half, haven't we? We started going into labor, then had it stop on us. We found out we're almost halfway dilated, so your little baby head can almost fit through. We found out that Mommy's almost completely effaced, and how far down you've traveled. You seem pretty anxious to get out, considering your head is in my birth canal. Are you comfortable with your head being smooshed between my pelvis? Is it kind of like a vice grip, holding you in place, or can you move your head around still? I get worried about you, Jilly, wondering if you're uncomfortable or in any kind of pain. Most babies don't move down that far until their mommies are getting ready to push them out, but you couldn't wait. You're a rebel. I like that about you.
There doesn't seem to be much left holding you in there. This is very uncomfortable for me, baby J, since it puts a lot (and I mean a LOT!) of pressure on my whole crotch. I know you don't know what any of those body parts are yet, since you're still on the inside and aren't familiar with the outside world, but someday I'll make sure you know about the bruising and swelling you've caused. Like when you grow up, get married, and go to have a baby of your own. You'll ask me all kinds of questions about when I was pregnant with you, just like I asked your Grandma Christie, and I'll have all kinds of answers.
I love you, Jilly. I've tried to make sure you know how much I really, really love you. I welcome you into my life, and out into the world. So does your Daddy. He loves you so much. He's always talking to you and asking you to come out and telling you he loves you, and I know you hear him because every time he does you start to squiggle around in my belly. He reads you books. He welcomes you into his life, our life, and out into the world, too.
Daddy has to go away in about two weeks for a little while. He won't be gone long, but he has very important work to do. He really wants to be here for you, to see you as you first enter this world and take your first breath. I need him here, too. He's my support and my rock, and he keeps me from feeling overwhelmed. But we're both starting to get really worried, baby girl. We're worried you won't come out before he has to leave. And if that's the case, then the doctor's will make you come out while he's gone, and he won't be here to welcome you. That would break his heart, and mine. And it wouldn't be fair to you either, Jillybean, because you'd get to miss out on spending your first days warm and secure with both Mommy and Daddy.
Did we do something to offend you, Jillian? Did we perhaps not make you feel welcomed and happy like we should? We've tried to make a really good home for you. We've done everything we can to make sure that you have everything you need and more. We love you, and we want you to be happy. Are you scared? Because if you are, I promise you, it's okay. I will protect you. I will hold you, and you will have me to keep you safe. Your Daddy, too.
We want you to come out. We want to meet you. We're both confused as to why you seem to be teasing us, with contractions that start and stop, and lots of progress. I love you. Daddy loves you. We won't let anything happen to you.
Your Daddy would like to spend some time with you before he needs to leave for a little while. Only you can make this happen. You have the ability to come out and meet us. We're waiting for you, and we're trying to be as patient as possible. But we're excited and anxious to have you in our arms. You changed our lives as soon as you entered them. You are our everything. So if you're frightened, or if you have any doubts about coming into this big, colorful world, know that it's okay. We love you and will hold you and protect you. We'll keep you safe. I promise you.
Please come out soon. We want to make you love us, too.
Love,
Your Mommy and Daddy
P.S. I think Kitty might want to meet you, too. He's been following us around lately and looking at me with very concerned eyes. And he's been trying to climb up and lay across you, which is sort of odd considering he is not a lap cat. I think he wants to meet his new sister!
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